Why It’s Hard to Feel Good Feelings After Trauma (And How to Practice Receiving Them)

Why It’s Hard to Feel Good Feelings After Trauma (And How to Practice Receiving Them)

If you’ve survived trauma, you might expect that the hardest part is coping with painful memories or flashbacks. But for many people, an unexpected challenge emerges: feeling good can feel strange, even uncomfortable. Why is it so hard to experience joy, excitement, or love after trauma—and what can you do to start letting those feelings in?

Why Trauma Makes Positive Emotions Difficult

1. Lasting Impact on the Brain and Body

Trauma can cause lasting changes in the brain’s emotional circuits, especially those linked to reward and pleasure. This can blunt the ability to feel positive emotions, making happiness, contentment, or excitement feel distant or muted. For some, the brain’s “reward system” just doesn’t light up the way it used to.

2. The “Global Model” of Emotional Blunting

Research suggests that people with posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD) often experience a persistent reduction in their capacity for positive emotion, not just in stressful moments but across daily life. This means that even when something good happens, it might not spark the same joy or satisfaction as before.

3. Trauma Reminders Block Good Feelings

Thinking about trauma—even unconsciously—can dampen positive emotions. When the mind is preoccupied with reminders of what happened, it’s harder to be present and enjoy positive experiences. This effect isn’t limited to those with PTSD; anyone who’s experienced trauma can struggle with this.

4. Positive Emotions Can Feel Unsafe

For some, feeling good triggers anxiety. The body may associate the arousal of positive emotions (like excitement or love) with the hyperarousal of trauma, making those feelings feel overwhelming or even dangerous. This can lead to avoiding situations that might bring joy, just to stay “safe.”

5. Judging or Distrusting Good Feelings

After trauma, people may become judgmental or suspicious of positive emotions—worrying that happiness is fleeting or that feeling good will make them vulnerable to disappointment or harm. This self-protective stance can make it hard to relax into positive experiences.

How to Practice Receiving Good Feelings

The good news: You can retrain your brain and body to accept and enjoy positive emotions. Here’s how to start:

1. Notice Small Moments of Goodness

Pay attention to tiny sparks of joy—a warm cup of coffee, a favorite song, a kind word.

Practice mindfulness by naming these moments (“I feel a little lighter right now”).

2. Challenge Judgmental Thoughts

When you catch yourself thinking, “I don’t deserve this” or “This won’t last,” gently remind yourself that everyone deserves good feelings, including you.

Try to let go of the urge to analyze or dismiss positive experiences.

3. Allow Positive Emotions to Grow

When you feel even a hint of happiness or peace, pause and let yourself breathe it in for a few seconds longer.

Imagine the feeling spreading through your body, even if it’s faint.

4. Practice Self-Compassion

Trauma can make it hard to trust good things, but that’s not your fault.

Treat yourself with the same kindness you’d offer a friend who’s struggling to feel happy.

5. Seek Out Safe, Enjoyable Experiences

Spend time with people who make you feel safe and valued.

Do activities you used to enjoy, even if they don’t feel as rewarding at first—sometimes the pleasure returns gradually.

6. Work With a Therapist

Therapies that focus on emotion regulation can help you learn to accept and savor positive emotions.

A therapist can guide you in exploring why good feelings feel unsafe and help you create new, positive associations.

Remember: Healing Takes Time

If you find it hard to feel good after trauma, you’re not alone—and you’re not broken. Your brain and body are doing their best to protect you, even if it means keeping joy at arm’s length. With patience and practice, it’s possible to reclaim your right to happiness, connection, and peace.

Start small, be gentle with yourself, and know that every moment of goodness you let in is a step toward healing.

References:

Pugach CP, May CL, Wisco BE. Positive emotion in posttraumatic stress disorder: A global or context-specific problem? J Trauma Stress. 2023 Apr;36(2):444-456. doi: 10.1002/jts.22928. Epub 2023 Mar 29. PMID: 36987701; PMCID: PMC10101918.

Raudales, A. M., Kiefer, R., Forkus, S. R., Contractor, A. A., & Weiss, N. H. (2021). Positive emotion dysregulation and posttraumatic stress disorder symptoms: Investigating the role of anxiety sensitivity. Journal of anxiety disorders, 84, 102475.